Dying & Being Alive

Natalie Snooke - Tuesday, September 03, 2013

"One of the best means for arousing the wish to work on yourself is to realise that you may die at any moment."  Gurdijeff

When I came across this quote this morning, it really struck me.  I'm not one who likes to dwell on the potential negative of a situation, or if I'm really truthful, to think about my life ending, however I am interested in living truthfully and the truth of life is that we will die.  And that we don't know when!  So, it got me thinking, if I was to die at any moment, would I wish I'd worked on anything about myself, and if so, what would that be? 

I guess being open to others would come up for me.  Trusting a little more and suspecting a little less.  Not being afraid to let things go, knowing that it was for the best.  Being able to let things fall apart, knowing that I will still be okay.  Not needing to feel like I have to 'keep it all together'.  And I recognise that managing a small business really puts being vulnerable like this to the test.  

What also comes up for me is going more gently on myself.  I'm a pretty independent person, who has often struggled and forged ahead, paving a different way, sometimes at the cost of my own well being.  Being more gentle on myself creates a feeling of relief.  It allows me to soften into my own heart, and to be there more authentically for others, without needing to feel responsible.  

Interestingly, as I write this blog, it feels really nice to get in touch with such truthful stuff.  I don't mean to sound melancholy, but if I did die, you know what, I would do so with a happy smile in my heart.  Knowing that I gave life 'my all'.  And knowing that in essence, in spirit, we never actually die.  

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